Unforgettable
by Leydhawk
Summary: Set during Sub Rosa. After one of his divorces, Gibbs had a fling with a grad student from MIT. What'll he do when that same guy shows up as an NCIS agent 4 years later? Smut of the McGibbs variety, but doesn't break canon, just gives alternate reasons for expressions and events. Warning: written in alternating 1st person perspective, an experimental style. Enjoy, folks!
1. Chapter 1

_A/N Warning- this is in an experimental style of alternating first person perspective. Some are finding it jarring. I'm going to finish it in the style it was begun, so if you find you don't like it, I'm sorry. _

Chapter One

**McGee**

Finally. Being sent out for coffee because I'm the youngest guy in the office _finally_ paid off! I got the call that there was a body found and I was the closest NCIS representative. Sweet!

Ugh, no so sweet. A toxic chemical spill on base had revealed the body, so I got to hang out and wait for a team from Washington to show up after being patronized by a Special Agent DiNozzo when I called it in. A real case, not just searching for credit card and bank activity on AWOL sailors from my tiny office, and I was snidely told to 'do nothing' except hang around with putrid chemical fumes burning my lungs. Crap.

Just as I was trained, I taped off the scene and got the witnesses to wait and not talk to each other. Of course, all they'd witnessed was a decomposing corpse falling out of a vat of chemicals, but still. Protocol.

I couldn't believe it when the MCRT team arrived at the horrible crime scene. I'd followed Agent DiNozzo's belittling instructions. Standing around breathing caustic fumes would have made me need my inhaler, which I didn't have with me, so I'd put on a mask, which I did have, to try to keep myself breathing normally.

What shocked me into stunned silence was who the lead Agent was. DiNozzo introduced us, and I was pretty sure that 'Special Agent Gibbs' didn't recognize me with the mask on, but I for sure recognized him; those blue eyes were unforgettable, even with a bit more silver in his hair and a scowl which made me want to puke. I kept getting these flashes of memory with those eyes sparkling as he laughed just before he kissed me. I dropped my gaze and it caught on his hands, holding a pen and notebook. Bad idea! My cock stirred recalling how expertly those calloused fingers had worked every part of my body, and I swallowed hard, trying to get my thoughts out of the past.

This was Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Infamous, notorious bad-ass of NCIS. I knew him as Lee. Just Lee; I'd never been able to remember the last name from the brief moment he'd flashed his badge, even though I'd tried. Oh how I'd tried to find him. Now I understood perfectly; he hadn't wanted to be found by some kid he'd rescued on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere and taken to a country motel for two-and-a-half days of sex. Of course. Double crap. _How_ had I never known that Lee and Special Agent Gibbs were one and the same? I'd been at NCIS nearly a year! Plenty long enough to hear the stories, I guess I'd just never seen a picture of him.

I stepped back to watch how the group interacted, and particularly to listen for how the others addressed him. I'd had a strong suspicion all those years ago that he hadn't given me his real name, and that seemed to be confirmed by Agent DiNozzo's introduction. I guess Lee _might_ be short for Leroy, but the Scottish M.E. was the only person to call him anything other than his last name, and he said Jethro.

Thank god he didn't recognize me.

**Gibbs**

The kid, this green recruit, didn't think I recognized him, but those huge, expressive blue-green eyes: unforgettable. It wasn't the time or place for an awkward reunion, so I treated him the same as any newbie and mostly tried to ignore him. I was too aware of him, though, and he was such a distraction that I made DiNozzo get him away from me so I could concentrate. I could feel him watching me, though, and I found myself showing off just a little with more snide remarks than usual. Ducky noticed and gave me one of those looks he gets, and even took a breath to ask or tease or something, but I think I headed that off with a glare. _Damn_ the man, he was too observant for my own good, and as he wheeled the body away, he grinned and winked while inclining his head in Tim's direction. I gave him my worst scowl, but he only laughed as he went by.

At least he didn't say anything.

When I turned to get one of our equipment cases, I was shocked to see Tim sitting on them, with the mask pulled down so I could see his beautiful, cherubic face. He hadn't aged, he still looked like he was 18, though he'd been 21 when we met that first time; he was still all smooth skin and pouty lips. And the memory of just how soft his skin was slammed into me from four years ago; cupping his face and stroking his downy cheeks with my thumbs; that wicked grin he gave as he dropped to his knees and...

_Shit_.

I didn't make eye contact, I kept my frown in place as I walked over and yanked one of the cases from under his ass...

Damnit! That sweet, tight ass... Hands down he'd been the best male lover I'd ever had. So receptive to every suggestion, and creative to boot. That position on the chair…

I heard him comment to DiNozzo that he'd heard stories about me, and Tony's quick reply about only half being true and needing to figure out which half. _Stories_... I wonder if the kid was gonna start telling some stories of his own now. I was gonna have to talk to him, shut that _down_.

Damn.

**McGee**

I waited for three hours in the dark at the deserted crime scene, called Agent DiNozzo five times and got voicemail before I realized I'd been had. He'd told me that Gibbs wanted the scene maintained by NCIS and not the local LEOs and he'd send relief as soon as he could. A prank. Great. Well, at least I didn't wait all night, and my patience had been aided by my memories...

Mark Mason, star running back of the football team at MIT while I was the mascot, had also been a practical joker. I didn't know it then, but him asking me to drive his clunker back from an away game had been one of his jokes. This one ended up giving me the most memorable three days of my life, so retrospectively, I really didn't mind.

I was on a back road in the middle of nowhere, since Mark had been very clear that the car wouldn't handle highway speeds (he apparently didn't want me getting killed at least) when the engine started rattling and sputtered to silence. I pulled over to the shoulder and checked everything I knew how to check, which wasn't much, but hey, I could tell the thing needed oil, of which there was none in the trunk; then tried to restart it. There was nothing doing. I hit the flashers and left the hood propped up, trying to recall where the nearest town was. The evening was deepening into night, and cold. I rested my head on the steering wheel in frustration. Okay, I cried a little; maybe two tears. When a car pulled up behind me I wasn't sure if I should get out or stay put or... I decided to do like I would if it was a cop and stayed inside with my hands on the steering wheel.

But it was _him_, and though I hadn't known it, my life hit a fork right then. Nothing would ever be the same after I was caught in that cool blue stare.

**Gibbs**

Finding out where the kid lived was nothing. Doing it without Tony trying to "help" was only a little harder. We all checked in at a motel, and went our separate ways for the night. I may have insinuated I was seeing a certain lady who drove a convertible, but I never said it outright. That way they wouldn't ask if I got back late.

Driving out to McGee's low-rent apartment, I could no longer suppress the memories of our last meeting.

The sweetest looking angel (okay, adult-ish, and more cherubic than bad-ass archangel, but _really_ cute) face looked up at me through the driver's side window, a pair of huge blue-green eyes blinking at my flashlight, and I was smitten. An old-fashioned word, sure, but it felt right. I wanted to see that face in every expression possible, from ecstatic agony to a simple smile, and I wanted it right _now_. Unfortunately, all I was getting so far was wide-eyed uncertainty.

He rolled down the window.

"Um, hi," he said, his voice hesitant. What would it sound like crying out in the dark? Would he whimper, or scream?

I cleared my throat. "Need a hand?" Or maybe just a finger or two...tongue...cock, buried deep in your -

"It's my friend's car. It just, um, it died and I think maybe it's a joke but it's not funny and I need to get back to Boston by Monday and -"

"Hold on, hold on now. Slow down. We'll get you to Boston. Why don't you just tell me the whole story, alright? It's chilly, though. How long have you been sitting here? C'mon over to my car."

"Uh..."

Shit. I sounded creepy. Not the best start to a seduction.

"Relax. I'm a Federal Agent. See?" I showed my badge and watched the teenager relax slightly. God, he was pretty. Damnit, what was it about seeing that woman in court today that made me want to jump the fence and never go back?

"Let me take a look under the hood for you real quick anyway. Probably need a tow, though, whatever it is, and that'll have to wait until tomorrow." Under the hood. _Hell yeah_, I'll peek at that denim hood and wrap my lips around what I find there and...

Goddamn divorce court.

The kid had definitely been had by his so-called friend. There were parts of the engine actually held in place by baling wire and duct tape. Why anyone would think it funny to make that sweet-faced, pretty boy get stranded out in the sticks was beyond me. I already felt protective of him.

Possessive. Whatever.

"It's definitely gonna need a tow, but I'd make your buddy deal with it. You got any gear in here you need?" I kept my voice real matter-of-fact, my shoulders relaxed, and it seemed to help. He was losing some of the tense, fearful expression he'd started out with, and he finally opened the door and got out.

"I, um, well, I guess he got me," he said, smiling with the most adorable little curve of his lips. How would he taste? I could _nurse_ from that fat bottom lip...

"You better get him good when you get back at him."

He turned and bent over, reaching into the back seat for a backpack. Oh, god, nice round ass; I wanted to grab his hips and just...

"Th-this is all my stuff. Let me, uh, lock up. I can't thank you, um, enough, for stopping. Y-you could just, uh, drop me in the next town, um, if you want. I can...can get a bus or...or call someone..." He was giving me that doe-eyed stare again, and it brought out the predator in me. I barely kept from shoving him against that piece of shit car and kissing him.

"Boston isn't out of my way. I'm not leaving a teenager in some hick town out here," I commented, knowing I was fishing for his age.

"Oh! No, um, I'm twenty-one. I'm a grad student at MIT. I, um, I'll be okay if..."

"Just consider me a gift horse, alright, kid?"

"Tim."

"Lee," I offered, giving the name I rarely used, except for one night stands. If he was lying about his age, I was gonna cover my ass but good. Y'know: just in case the night went like I wanted it to.

**McGee**

I was still lost in my reminiscence as I parked my car. Trying to remember specifics was like trying to recall a dream. There are moments that are so clear in my memory, and then hours that are a blur of impressions. Like, the moment he pushed into me... Okay, bad example. Losing my anal cherry _should_ be memorable, and damn, was it! God, he'd stretched me, rubbing inside until I just about popped, then he rolled me over onto a pillow, and he stroked my thigh, really tender, and then his voice, all chocolate lava cake, telling me to just relax, and I did and oh-my-fucking-god was it _good_. He hit that spot and I was in orbit, I mean, totally gone.

I trudged up the steps to my apartment, sighing heavily, yanking my tie off and cramming it in the pocket of my jacket. Three hours rehashing that weekend and all I wanted to do was get out of my pants and relieve the ache so I could sleep. It had been a long day. But my door was unlocked, and I knew I hadn't left it that way, so I drew my gun, and, feeling some surreal flashback to FLETC, went about clearing my home. I got three steps into the room, scanning and sweeping and I lowered my weapon and just stood there, staring.

"You could shut the damn door, Tim," came that voice that had haunted my dreams for years. When I didn't move, he got up from my worn out couch and went past me and did it himself. I couldn't believe he was here, in my apartment, in the flesh. Oh shit, don't think flesh, that's one of those words... Flesh, bare, with hair and smell and heat and sweat and... Aw, shitshitshit, there was no hiding the tent in my pants and oh please, Lee, Gibbs, Jethro, _whatever_, will you please just kiss me and fuck me and let me...

_Shit_!

"Wh-what are you-you doing..."

"I figured we'd better talk," he said, his voice level and reasoned and such a contrast to my high, strained, stumbling words. He was standing next to me. Standing within arm's reach and I was ready to fucking swoon, to beg and grovel, anything to get him closer, to feel him. There had been no other lover like him since those two days four years ago. I'd had sex, sure, even once with a guy, but there was _no_ comparison.

"T-talk?"

That low chuckle, _oh god_, how could I have forgotten that? He put his hand on my back and pushed me toward the couch.

"Yeah, kid. Talk."

**Gibbs**

He was adorable, standing there with his mouth hanging open and his hard-on pointing straight at me. It would be so easy to go there, to just fall into bed and ignore every rational reason it was a bad idea.

But the rational stuff piled up and up. We had to work together now, and that meant getting really clear on what was and wasn't appropriate.

"Sit down, kiddo," I said, sighing inwardly. He shook his head and stared at me.

"I'm not a kid," he replied, standing there stubbornly, finally getting through a sentence without stuttering. The fact that he sounded like a sullen teenager only made the declaration ironic, and that much hotter.

No, come on! I mentally head-slapped myself.

"Fine. _Agent_ McGee. You got that? Agents, both of us."

"You were an-an Agent back then, too, _Lee_. Jethro. Gibbs. Wha-what should I even call you?"

"Damnit, you call me Agent Gibbs! That's what I'm trying to tell you!" I got right up in his face like a D.I., trying to break him, make him back off, something!" Get your damn brain out of your pants and back in your head. We're going to work a case together, and you can't keep staring at me like you just found out Santa isn't real!"

"Wait, Santa's not real?" He asked, all wide-eyed with a sparkle and a little smile and Jesus he was just completely irresistible...

_Fuck it!_

**McGee**

Yes! I found it, found the button to push, playing with the irony, twisting his intentions, and we were kissing, crushed together, and it was so right! It felt so good, his hard muscled body, better than Tara or Catherine, better than Tommy, because Tommy had been tentative and scared and Lee - Gibbs - Jethro was anything but.

He tasted a little bitter, kind of like coffee, and he smelled like fresh cut timber, and it was _unbelievable_. His hands were warm and dry and he shoved my jacket over my shoulders and yanked my shirt off while I was trying to get his untucked, and he finally pulled away and took both his polo and undershirt off in one quick move. Then it was skin on skin, with the amazingly masculine feel of the hair on his chest against me. It tickled my nipples a little and I shuddered. I gripped his back hard, clinging to him, god! I wanted him inside me. I wanted to suck him and fuck him and - and - and -

**Gibbs**

That soft white skin, with his strong arms holding me close... I palmed his ass and pulled him hard against me, spreading his cheeks, oh shit, I couldn't wait to bury myself in that ass. Jesus, he was always so responsive, he was already making little sounds around my tongue...humping my thigh... I was _not_ going to blow in my pants like a teenager but he had me so damn hot...

I had three condoms in my pocket. I'd plucked them out of DiNozzo's jacket, but I didn't have lube. I'd make-do with spit only as a last resort; I didn't want to hurt the kid. And if I was throwing all restraint away then I was gonna fuck him all night, so I hoped he had something...

**McGee**

I wanted to cry when I felt him pull away.

"Lube?" He growled, and my face turned bright red because that meant fucking and I wanted that more than _air_. I nodded frantically and sidestepped once to reach my computer desk. I yanked open the drawer and groped for the bottle. As soon as my hand was free, Gibbs slammed it closed and manhandled me around to face the furniture. I was shaking badly, my knees practically knocking, and when he pulled me back against him and laved my neck, I cried out. I could feel his erection on my ass and I throbbed, wanting...needing...

**Gibbs**

Of course my little techno-geek wouldn't have skin mags to beat off to; he'd use his computer. And I was about to fuck him right in the spot he sat in and stroked his cock all alone. I groaned and bit his back, leaving marks on his shoulder blade, while my hands were busy on his chest. One tweaked his nipples, and the other slid lower, over the soft curve of his belly (oh _shit_ I loved that little roll of baby fat!), down to first grip his hard-on through his pants, listening to how he choked at that, then I unfastened his belt, then his slacks and finally used both hands to push them down. Looking at the expanse of his back, the beautiful fullness of his butt, pushed out eagerly toward me, my knees almost gave out at the perfect surrender of him. I must have paused too long, because he looked over his shoulder in uncertainty. I lunged to kiss him, messy, plundering those full lips...

**McGee**

When his eyes flashed and he kissed me again, I barely had any awareness of what he was doing with his hands until he pushed a slick finger into my ass. Oh _god_! Yes! Being penetrated, with the heat of him so close... I moaned helplessly, wiggling my ass, my body begging for more. He complied, giving me just what I needed, adding a second finger so I felt that slight ache of the stretch, but only for the first few times he twisted and spread them. He wasn't kissing me anymore, and I was holding onto my desk as I bent forward, shoving back... More..._more_!

Third finger, sharper ache... Oh god, soon, soon! His cock, inside me, his tough hands, holding me... It was better than I remembered, so much better than my fantasies about our time together years ago.

"Oh, please, Lee! G - Jeth - Agent Gibbs! Please..."

And finally, he was there, that meaty head pressing close, spreading me so wide... I couldn't open my legs with my pants around my ankles, so I just bent further. It hurt, but such exquisite pain! He paused and waited, and it wasn't more than a half-dozen gasping breaths before I arched back, needing more.

**Gibbs**

Goddamn! Hot and tight and whining my name, his hands scrambling on the wood, shoving his keyboard onto the floor so he could bend over more, I brought my hands to his waist and held him while he panted, adjusting. The give of the flesh beneath my fingers was so good... Love handles; their euphemistic name became literal as I gripped him and inched in slowly. He couldn't have had anyone fuck him in a long, long time, maybe since me; he was virgin tight and it felt so fucking good I had to grit my teeth. He was rippling, opening for me, and I finally felt him take it all. I rested against his ass, both of us shaking, until he started moving. I pulled out slowly, then back in. His head was lolling, and the sounds he was making... Two more slow, slow strokes, and the pitch rose in his cries, his hips shoved hard back against me, and it was on!

**McGee**

A sound filled my apartment, cries punctuated with grunts and it took long minutes before I realized it was me. His hands held me firmly as he thrust hard, and everything centered on the feel of him, inside me, behind me... Oh god! So right! So _perfect_! Such a fire inside me; I ached to grab my leaking cock but he was so vigorous I couldn't spare a hand. Please, Lee, pleaseplease_please_...

**Gibbs**

He was gibbering, begging, and I knew he what he wanted. I slammed harder into him several times before I shifted and bent over further, wrapping one hand up under his arm to grip his shoulder so I could keep pounding him; the other went to his shaft. He wailed when I started stroking him, and he came in moments...

**McGee**

Yes! Yes! Fuck, _yes_! I couldn't see or hear or feel anything except his body, shoving hard again and again against that sweet spot inside me and his calloused hand on me... Everything was heat and light and agonizing pulses as come shot out hard, over and over and over -

**Gibbs**

His ass clamped down and I felt like he was milking me as he shuddered and screamed and then I was coming too, and I knew his shoulder was gonna bruise with how hard I was gripping him but fuck! I didn't care; he felt so good, so right! And I froze, rigid with ecstasy, deep inside him, my face pressed against his sweaty back, soft skin... My cock _exploding_...

Fuck!

~~~NCIS~~~

_A/N New McGibbs, yay! I hope you like the different style with the perspective. The idea came to me because I dislike that intimate scenes (okay, smut, you know what I mean)are pretty much always from one point of view, and I want to get both without repeating what's happening. And though I've been nervous about it, I think it works. If you don't, feel free to let me know, but please remember that we're all on here to have fun._


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N I appreciate the honest evaluation of this different style! It's fun to play with, but I don't think I'll make it the norm for my work or anything. I'm almost done with the rough draft, so I figured it was a good time to post chapter two. _

Chapter Two

**Gibbs**

"Jesus Christ, Tim. Haven't you fucked anyone since we were together?" I asked, gasping as I pulled out. I had collapsed onto him, my legs jellied from the staggering orgasm and eventually realized he couldn't be comfortable with my weight on him, pressing him against his desk, his face buried in the dusty cords behind his monitor.

He stood and turned to face me, sitting heavily on the edge of the furniture. "Yeah, um, a few. Only one guy, though, and I topped," he said, shrugging. I blinked. I figured a kid like him would be an avowed bottom, but what the hell did I know? It wasn't like we'd been friends and we certainly hadn't spent a lot of time talking.

"Huh," I said noncommittally. I pulled off the condom and righted a wastebasket we'd knocked over then dropped it in. I kicked my shoes and socks off and got my pants free from the tangle around my ankles, removing them and folding them neatly on top of my shoes. I retrieved my shirts and did the same with them, then went back to the sofa and sat down, picking up the mug of coffee I'd made and taking a sip. "Which do you prefer?"

Tim was looking over his shoulder, staring at me from his perch on the edge of the desk. I raised my eyebrows, wanting an answer.

"Um... Topping was good, but you... Well, you're a hard act to follow, I think."

I rolled my eyes. "You don't have to flatter me. Always tell me the truth."

He smiled, and it lit his face. He _still_ looked like an angel. A flushed and sweaty and well-fucked angel. Damn.

"Not flattery. Everyone before or since has been compared to you, and they've all come up short."

I smirked but shook my head. "You gotta find some better partners, kid."

**McGee**

"Don't call me kid," I said, feeling like I'd said it a thousand times. I pulled my pants up and fastened them. He might feel comfortable walking around naked, but I didn't. Why wouldn't he? He had a gorgeous body, especially for his age. I headed for the kitchen and got a glass of water and some paper towels. There was hot coffee in the carafe and I wondered how long he'd been here waiting for me. When I came back out, he was watching me with half-lidded eyes, and I felt my cock twitch. I cleaned the come off my desk and put my keyboard back in its place, then threw away the evidence. I turned back to him nervously. I was unsure where we were at now. We'd fucked, and he was naked, eyeing me like I was something to savor, and yet... He was technically my superior, even if he wasn't my actual boss, and he seemed to have come here to make a point.

When he beckoned me, I moved toward him. It was inevitable. I thought I would probably do anything for him, and that was a vaguely frightening thought. He took my hand and pulled me down beside him. I set my glass on the floor and looked at him uncertainly. His fingers twined with mine, and he reached out and stroked my face with his free hand before he gently drew me to him and we kissed. My heart seemed to stutter, then leap to a sprint. I almost wanted to cry at the tenderness of it. Then my eyes stung for a different reason when he spoke.

"This is just sex, Tim. I'm not trying to start a relationship. You got that?"

I looked away. I don't know what I was thinking this was, but some part of me longed for him and always had. I sighed. I'd take whatever he'd give me, and take it gladly, for as long as I could.

I nodded.

**Gibbs**

Aw, shit. I didn't want to crush his soul or something. I just couldn't let him think that fucking meant flowers and dates. We were both part of the same agency, and even with him out here in Norfolk, the reasons it would be a bad idea were too damned many.

His fingers tightened on mine and I looked at him to find him smoldering at me. I cocked my head at the change in his demeanor.

"But we have tonight - _all_ night..." He said, his voice dropping. I couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, so take your damn pants off, Tim."

He stood up and pulled me with him, tugging my hand so I'd follow him deeper into the apartment, into the bedroom. I left my coffee and followed gladly, flopping onto his bed when he pushed me gently, scooting up to recline on the pillows and watch him strip down. My angel. And so young he was already hard again.

Hell yeah.

**McGee**

I crawled onto the bed and started kissing him. I figured I had nothing to lose, and if I was going to only have this time to remember, I was going to be fearless. I loved how his lips parted and his kiss grew languorous. My brain fuzzed out.

It wasn't long before he took control, rolling over on top of me and pinning me to my bed. I could hear little sounds, squeaks or whines or something, and even though I knew it was me making them, they still turned me on. When his rough hands moved between us and pinched my nipples, I almost screamed. I was throbbing, wanting him so bad I was ready to beg. Maybe I was begging, I'm not sure. He knew, though, whether I asked or not, and he moved down and started sucking me off and I could feel my whole body shake in sobs of pleasure.

"Ah! Oh, _god_, oh Lee - uh..._uh_... Agent Gibbs!"

**Gibbs**

I nearly laughed. I had my mouth wrapped around the kid's cock and he had the presence of mind to try to do as I'd said and call me by my title. I released him and looked up past the sandy colored bush and across that curving expanse of white skin. He whined that I'd stopped and finally looked down. His eyes were black, the irises no longer visible with how wide his pupils were dilated.

"Jethro. You can call me Jethro when we're in bed."

His frantic nod was accompanied by a tiny thrust of his hips, his body begging me to get back to it. I smiled and shook my head. I was just starting to recover, my cock chubbing, but I knew it would be at least a few more minutes until I was hard enough to fuck him. I wondered how many times I could make him come and returned to blowing him. God, that hot mouthful felt good. Four years ago, after our incredible few days together, I'd hit the gay bars a couple of times, but no one had drawn me like he did, and I'd only had women now for years. The musky smell of his sweaty crotch, that bitter taste as he leaked when I tongued his slit... How had I gone without this for so long? I found myself answering his higher pitched noises with my own groans. I mouthed his balls and slid my finger into him while I went back up to his cock and got serious.

"Oh! Ah, Jethro! _Yes_, oh fuck! Yes! _Yes_!" He cried, and it brought me back to full hardness. Jesus, the throaty, garbled sound of my name - my real name - on his lips was like a crazy aphrodisiac. I sucked hard and massaged him inside until he lost words and just wailed as he came in my mouth. _Oh fuck!_ I scrambled for a condom.

**McGee**

I was still shaking and sweating through aftershocks from the best blowjob of my life when he pushed his cock into me and started fucking again. Oh _god_! I wasn't going to get a break, just _more_ if him. This was it, what I remembered from before: endless ecstasy, pleasure that turned my brain to mush, bringing me to a primal, animalistic state. No one else had ever been like this! Was it his age? His experience? Some skill acquired through training with an ancient master?

Who cares?! It felt fucking great!

**Gibbs**

There! Oh shit, there was nothing, no one, like this. My perfect, sweet angel was writhing, bucking, his eyes rolled back... I felt like a god, pounding this boy into ecstatic oblivion. Tight, and hot, and slick, and _so_ beautiful, his mouth working, trying to form words, but failing... He was crying, I could see the tears, but from too much pleasure rather than pain. Oh fuck... Jesus, he was getting hard again; oh youth!

I never wanted to stop. God... So good. I leaned down and bit him on the neck, low so his collar would cover it, but hard, marking him. Mine! My glorious, sexy angel!

So good! It went on and on, sweat pouring off of both of us, Tim sobbing my name, or part of it anyway, he was pretty incoherent. I groaned and grunted and just kept shoving into him, holding his thighs up... His face was so red, the flush down onto his neck and chest just making me want him more and more - endless. His hands were like claws on my sides, scrabbling when he lost purchase, and I could feel the scratches... I was gonna have to be careful for the next few weeks when I took my shirt off. I didn't want to explain those marks. But _damn_ they felt good!

The tide was rising. I could feel myself getting closer, and I wanted him to come, too.

"Baby - Tim - angel - " I gasped, trying to get through to him. I kept trying, and eventually he opened his eyes. Oh shit! How could he possibly be any more attractive than he had been with his mindless head tossing, whining and crying out? Meeting my gaze with eyes glazed with lust and something more...

"Gonna come, angel, gonna fill you up," I growled.

"Yes! _Yes_! _Jethro_!"

**McGee**

I came without him touching my dick. How the hell was that even possible? But his eyes were burning like he had a fever, melting my soul, and I just exploded, convulsing as he thrust...three...four more times and he roared and I could feel him pulsing inside of me. I couldn't feel my hands, but I tried to just hang on as my body totally locked up.

We were suspended in time, between life and death, between instants, and I just wanted to stay there. God!

_Oh fuck_. I was never going to be the same. I was never going to have this again after tonight. He had changed me on some deeply personal level, and then he was going to leave. I started crying, and he wrapped me up close and just held me.

I didn't want this to end, ever. The sex was incredible, sure, but it was more. It felt like he was taking care of me, like I was safe and protected and everything was right. But it wasn't going to last. He was going to leave and I'd see him but not be able to touch him... Torture!

I cried harder, clinging to him, aching.

**Gibbs**

I held him, and it felt so good to be needed, to know that I had overwhelmed him completely.

When his breathing reduced from gulping sobs to hiccupping sniffles, I pulled out carefully and got rid of the condom, then drew him back against me and rubbed his back.

"You okay?" I asked. He looked up at me with those huge, vulnerable eyes, his eyelashes still spiked with tears. He had no filters in his expression, and I swallowed hard. I didn't want to see the sorrow, the shadows of past rejections, the infatuation. I couldn't make myself regret tonight, just like I'd never truly regretted our first time together, but I didn't want him hurt, either. I was torn. If I knew someone else had made this sweet kid feel like this, I'd kick their ass; since it was me doing it... I needed a drink.

"I - I know... It's only tonight. I get it. It's just... Jethro, no one has ever made me feel like this. You're... You're one hell of a lay," he said quietly. And fuck. He was trying to make _me_ feel better, trying for levity when he obviously needed more caring. I kissed him and he snuggled down with his head on my chest. Damn, that felt so good.

I am such a selfish bastard.

**McGee**

My resolution to take whatever he could give me had faltered when he held me so tenderly, but I saw the look in his eyes and knew I couldn't ask him for more than he'd offered.

I rubbed my cheek against his chest, loving how it felt when the hair shifted, loving the smell of him, the feel of his hands on my shoulder and back. I sighed and tried to stay awake, to memorize each sensation, but I had come three times already, and I was so _tired_...

**Gibbs**

I felt him melt into sleep. God, what a sweet kid. I could hear his protest in my head 'Don't call me kid' and I smiled. There was something about him... My mind drifted, considering how I could keep him, a little bit on the side. The relationship I was in now had never been exclusive; she didn't see other people, though I'd had a few other dates and she knew it. Tim was all the way out here in Norfolk. I could get out here between cases, or meet somewhere between, just to fuck. That would be so great, just knowing he'd be there anytime I said, ready and willing and so amazingly sexy, wanting me... But that _look_. He already had a crush on me. I'd break his heart if we tried to just be lovers. Damn.

Sighing, I closed my eyes and just breathed him in. At least we had tonight, and I probably had one more in me. He might have two or three. The thought made me smile.

~~~NCIS~~~

**Gibbs**

I roused when I felt him breathe in sharply, waking. He felt so good snuggled up next to me, his head on my chest, his hand resting on my thigh... But this was just one night, I reminded myself. I wanted to say something, to try to help make up for hurting his feelings earlier.

"Why only three lovers in four years? Were they all big relationships?" I asked. I stroked my fingers up and down his back, relishing the smooth, tight skin and the soft fleshiness beneath.

"Um, no. Catherine... Catherine was. But I literally ran into Tara at a party one night and we just sort of clicked. Chemistry, or something. Tommy..." He sighed. "Tommy was a friend. He wasn't sure if he was gay and so he...we... Well, I was his great experiment. I think he got scared when he enjoyed it as much as he did..."

"He split, huh?"

"Yeah." Tim's voice was small, and sounded impossibly young. I squeezed him, hugging him, trying to be reassuring.

"Why not more, though? Don't you ask people out? You're gorgeous, it's not like they'd be likely to turn you down."

He stiffened. "You and my _grandmother_ are the only people I've ever met who have said anything like that to me, Jethro. Two out of, what, thousands? Why should I believe it?" His tone was raw and pained, and I frowned. I took ahold of his chin and made him look at me.

"You look like an _angel_, Tim. That was the first thought I had when I saw you in that car. I find you beautiful and sexy and I know you're smart enough to put weight to my words. You. Are. Gorgeous."

He swallowed hard and blinked a lot, and I let him go so he could rest his head down again and get himself back under control.

"I...I have never had a lot of confidence that way," he finally said. I nodded.

"You need to try the shotgun effect."

"Hmm?"

"You ask every person who seems remotely interesting to you for their number, or lunch or a drink or a dance. Anything. You may get shot down some; don't take it personal. You'll get dates, you'll get experiences, and you'll gain confidence."

I felt him take a deep breath. Maybe he'd listen. Who could tell? Even if I couldn't have him, I wanted him to be happy.

**McGee**

"I can't believe I fell asleep. I don't want to miss out on a single moment with you," I confessed. He pulled me closer, and I ran my fingers across his body, up from his thigh, over his hip, trailing through his chest hair.

"We're on a case."

"I have plenty of experience with all-nighters. I just want more of _you_."

"You got me all night, kid, but tomorrow I need you sharp."

I growled at him calling me kid and turned my head and bit his nipple. I'd show him sharp...

He snarled back at me, and oh, _man_, I think I poked the bear...

He shoved me away, onto my back, and grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head with one of his, then reached for my cock. Fuck! His strong hand had me hard in a moment and he started stroking me.

I gasped. "J-Jethro - D-Don't call me ki -"

His tongue invaded my mouth and I was so done with words...

**Gibbs**

What a little shit! I almost laughed as he whimpered while I jacked him off, kissing him fiercely. That was so hot, those little noises I was swallowing. It had been less than hour since his last climax, and he was headed there again. Man, I wanted more and more of this kid, and he had it to give...

He cried out when he came, and I ran my hand up into it, coating my thumb then reaching down and pushing into him. He arched off the bed with another wail and immediately started humping onto it. God! _Insatiable_!

I bit my lip watching him writhe and couldn't help but reconsider. Was I truly going to have this one night be it? I knew I'd be dreaming of this for weeks...or years. He was just the most erotic picture of wanton desire, calling to me, and oh _crap_! He was looking at me again, licking his lips and...

**McGee**

He knew just how to keep my arousal going. I'd come once (well, four times now, but just once this round), and still had me at a fever pitch. When I looked at him and licked my lips I knew he was mine. Maybe just for tonight, but mine, now.

"Jethro..." I moaned. "I want you..."

I watched as the fire lit inside him again, or maybe just flared from where it had been banked, and he was kissing and sucking on my neck and chest - _oh god_ - I could tell he was leaving marks and I _welcomed_ them...

**Gibbs**

I wanted all of him. Every inch of that skin, every bead of sweat... I could taste his come as I licked across from one nipple to the other, and damn if it didn't have me starting to get hard again. I groaned, and he moved, shifting so I pulled my hand back, rolling on top of me and kissing me passionately. Those lips... His body, strong but soft... I never wanted to let him go.

We both gyrated our hips, but the urgency to fuck was lessened by our previous activities and we lay together for a long time just making out. He tentatively started exploring my neck and chest and sides like a real lover. When he buried his face in my armpit and started sucking on my skin, swirling the hair with his tongue, he found a hot spot no one else had ever discovered. Even me. I cried out involuntarily, my cock throbbing in response. My hips jerked hard and when he drew back to look at me, his face was suffused with a delighted grin. I laughed and kissed him.

**McGee**

It was a slow build, and I reveled in tasting every inch of his skin I could. I followed what turned me on, and finding the powerful, masculine musk under his arm, I instinctively worked it, wanting to devour that essence, and the sound he made when I did...! It was surprise and pleasure and so, so perfect.

Kissing him, feeling his hands all over my body... It was more than I could have hoped. I felt safe and appreciated and wanted. I shoved my regret that we would only have these stolen hours down except for the awareness that I had to hold onto every moment.

Straddling his hips, I knew we were headed toward inevitability when his hands gripped my ass and spread my cheeks. The cool night air of my apartment on the wet, lube-sticky heat of my crack made me shudder. When his fingers worked down to my hole and he spread me open, I nearly screamed at the overwhelming sensation. I froze, not daring to move, wanting him, so badly! I wanted to grind my cock against his belly, but his control over me was total as he held me like that, my ass sticking up and lewdly stretched open. I couldn't even breathe and I felt tears start sliding down my face.

"Jethro..." I choked.

**Gibbs**

The way he stilled like a statue when I pulled his ass up and started fingering him seemed strange, and when I realized he was crying again and he said my name, sounding terrified, I released the hard grip I had on him and wrapped my arms around his body instead. I drew him down beside me and held him, trying to soothe him. He was gasping and whining and goddamnit, I hadn't meant to hurt him! It had felt like all bets were off, and I'd just touched him however I wanted to. Why hadn't I considered how vulnerable that might make him feel?

"Why?" He finally said. I took a breath to try to explain. "Why'd you stop? _Fuck_! Jethro, I need you..." He moaned. "I need you inside me. I need your fingers or your cock or or or - "

Shit! He'd _liked_ that?! I barked a laugh and smothered his words with my tongue. Reaching for the nightstand, I retrieved a condom and the lube. Slicking my fingers, when I put my hand between us he fell back and eagerly opened his legs for me, never letting go or stopping kissing me. I smiled into his lips and pushed two fingers into him, feeling him shudder. I went slow, making sure I gave good pressure on his sweet spot until he was mewling into my mouth, his body quaking uncontrollably. I found myself humping his hip and decided it was time.

Putting a condom on with one hand was a skill I'd long ago mastered and it was definitely part of my arsenal. Keeping a lover in a heightened state until I was ready to mount up was like a stealth attack, and got me a great reaction every time. I got our bodies rearranged, pushing his near thigh up and shifting down so I could replace my fingers with my own aching hard-on. On my side, him mostly on his back, I got under him enough so that my shallow thrusts were still nailing him good. We couldn't kiss anymore in this position, but I could play with his cock and balls and pinch his nipples; best yet, I could watch him and listen to his reactions.

His hair was dark with sweat, plastered onto his forehead, and he was beautiful, so beautiful. His cries were hoarse after all this time, and he was sobbing affirmatives and my name, interspersed with inarticulate whines when I touched a sensitive spot. I felt like a maestro and his body my masterpiece. With his tight heat on my cock I was over the moon. I wanted this to last forever.

Cupping his balls gently, I gasped when he looked at me. He was wildly ecstatic, but there was this heartbreaking _longing_ in his eyes as well. My gut clenched as he kept his gaze trained on me, and he turned so he could rest his fingers on my cheek.

**McGee**

All my determination to just enjoy the sex crumbled when I looked into his eyes. I was head over heels for him; he was such a perfect blend of strength and gentleness, power and protectiveness. The addition of this new experience with him to our previous encounter was exactly what I needed to latch onto him as all I wanted in the world.

"Jethro..." I moaned. He moved, laying on top of me, and I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him down so I could kiss him. When he broke away, he stared into my eyes and something in him answered me, answered my loneliness, my need for love, my desire to comfort and care for a special someone.

"Tim...oh, _Tim_..." He sighed. I squeezed my body on his hardness, scared that I had freaked him out and that he was going to stop. I arched and pushed onto him, gasping when he responded and thrust deep. He kept his eyes open, kept watching me, and I could feel I was close to coming again, just from that heated gaze. He snapped his hips forward, and I cried out. I grabbed his shoulders and struggled to hold out.

"Oh, Jethro! I'm gonna... _Oh god_, yes! Jethro! Yes! _Yes_!"

**Gibbs**

He was there, right on the edge, and staring into me like he was drinking my soul, consuming me. He was perfection; oh, my angel! My sweet, sweet angel...

He screamed almost soundlessly and threw his head back and I felt him flooding wetly between our bodies and he was tight and rippling on my cock and I gave two, three more thrusts and came so hard my vision whited out and I froze, deep in his hot body, spasms shaking my entire existence.

Yes! My angel!

**McGee**

I tried to calm myself as he lay on top of me, but I kept choking on sobs. It was just all so much, too much. I knew this was it, that the hours we had were nearly done and I wanted more; not just more sex, but more of him. I had all these feelings about him and I wanted a chance to see if it could _be_ something but he'd said no. Everyone did; I lost Tommy and Tara took off when a good-looking slim guy crooked his finger and oh _god_, Catherine: I fell so in love with her and she'd split when I said it and everyone left me. Why couldn't anyone stay? Was I somehow unlovable?

"Hey," he said. I didn't realize he'd raised his head and he was frowning and I didn't want to ruin it and I bit my lip - "Hey, shh, Tim. You're okay, angel," he said, and he gently wiped my tears and stroked my forehead and cupped my cheek. "It's okay, baby." His eyes were mesmerizing: luminous blue and filled with tenderness. I was afraid he was ready to get up and leave, and I wanted to ask if that's what was about to happen but if there was any chance he was staying, even for a few more minutes, I didn't want to ruin it so I just stared at him and hoped.

**Gibbs**

He wanted me. Not just sex. And part of me wanted to give in but _fuck_, the reasons were all still there why it just couldn't be. How could I tell him in a way that wouldn't break him? He was so vulnerable...

"You're okay," I repeated. He started shaking his head.

"But I'm _not_. Jethro... I'm so lonely," he whispered. I didn't know what to say so I kissed him and stroked his face some more. It seemed to help, easing the pain in his eyes.

"Tim, you're so young, babe. You'll find someone. I know you will."

"But not..._you_?"

I could tell he knew the answer but I shook my head. "Better. _Way_ better'n me."

He sighed and seemed resigned if not appeased. I kissed him again and gently pulled out and rolled over. I tossed the condom and grabbed a tissue from his nightstand, reaching back to wipe his chest off. I tried to clean mine, too but I knew getting half-dried come out of my chest hair would be easier in the shower. I'd just leave it til then. I threw the tissue out and turned back to him. His expression was childlike, and lit up like Christmas when I opened my arms for him.

He burrowed close to me, his weight and bulk and warmth were so peaceful, and _man_, I hadn't felt this content in...too long. His breath hitched a few more times, but I just hugged him tighter, and before long he fell into an exhausted sleep.

~~~NCIS~~~

_A/N I got a little sidetracked reading other people's stuff this last week, so I'm sorry for the delay. I'm hoping for a shorter wait before I post the next chapter. I love those reviews, folks! They mean the world to me. Thank you!_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to review, even those for whom the alternating first person is grating. For those of you enjoying it, here's the update._

Chapter Three

**Gibbs**

I was up, showered and dressed, putting my shoes on at 05:30 when his alarm went off. I heard it from the sofa and went quickly back to the bedroom. I saw when the beginnings of a pout on Tim's face transformed into a smile the moment he saw me. _So_, so beautiful. I leaned down for a kiss, and we both sighed when our lips parted, cocked heads and wry smiles acknowledging that we didn't have time for another go.

"I gotta get to my hotel and change. We'll be starting at your office," I told him, speaking softly, clinging the intimacy of our time together. He nodded and sighed again.

"Thank you for tonight, Jethro. I'll hold this memory forever," he said. His voice was low, too, and I could hear in it the emotion he was suppressing. I pulled him up to sitting and settled on the mattress, holding him.

"You're so special, angel." I kissed his hair and ran my hands over the smooth skin of his back. "You deserve so much more than an old warhorse like me. Shotgun it. I mean that. Someone is gonna snap you up and never let you go."

He took a shaking breath and finally leaned away to look at me. Oh god, he was making puppy eyes at me, and I wanted to give in…

"If things ever change, I'd be willing to try with you. And if they don't change and you want another night like this..."

I cupped his face and kissed his forehead. "Find someone else. Find someone better," I said, speaking against his warm skin. I stood and roughly cleared my throat, trying for nonchalant and ending up sounding harsh. But I didn't dare go any further in comforting him, or all would be lost. "See you in a couple hours."

Stuffing down every emotion roiling through my gut, I left without looking back.

**McGee**

He left and I tried hard not to cry my way through my morning routine. I finally got ahold of myself in the car as I drove the familiar route to work. I nodded to acquaintances as I trudged up to my file-storage-closet-turned-office. At least I had a window. The usual mess of file folders littered my desk, everyone seeming to think that since the file boxes were still stored in my office that I should work like a clerk and put them away when they were done with them. I was trying to sort my stuff from the random crap when the MCRT team arrived.

"We need a video feed with Ducky, McGee," Gibbs ordered without preamble. I jumped, trying to look at him, but not too much. He seemed to avoid my eyes, so I tried to follow his lead. I looked instead to DiNozzo for clarification, knowing I'd better not speak to Gibbs yet or my voice might betray me by cracking. He looked cool and calm, and I struggled to hold back my desire to yell at him. I wanted him to acknowledge me, to admit what had happened between us, but I knew how unreasonable I was being with that thought.

"The Medical Examiner you met _yesterday_, McGee. _Doctor Mallard_," Tony said, speaking to me like I was a slow ten year old. I ignored the tone, nodding my thanks and, logging into my computer, got to work. I quickly gave up my seat to Gibbs once I'd established the link for him.

Impressively, the Scottish doctor and their forensic specialist already had a clue for Gibbs. From the angle I was looking at the screen, I couldn't see them clearly, but the woman had a sexy, husky voice and while she spoke flirtatiously, no one seemed to take it that way. They'd found a tattoo indicating that the victim was probably a submariner. The doctor began rambling about the history of tattoos, and I was half listening, knowing he was Jethro's friend and being curious about him.

"Any subs in port?" Gibbs cocked his head my way, and I jumped, realizing he was addressing me.

"Uh, I'm copied on the daily movement report," I said, reaching across in front of Gibbs to try desperately to find the printout. DiNozzo made a snide remark about my filing system, and I knew better than to explain that the extra crap on my desk wasn't mine. He'd take it as an excuse, and it was bad enough that Gibbs was seeing my office this way.

I found it and informed him there were three subs in port, one in dry dock, and another one having deployed very recently.

"Got any of the ship's alpha rosters?"

I knew Janice in records would have it. "I'm on it," I said, thrilled to be useful, and hurried out to get Gibbs what he needed.

**Gibbs**

I was relieved when McGee left to get the information. He was _insanely_ distracting. When he'd given me his seat, he'd smelled so damned good I'd started to get hard, and when he leaned over me, his throat inches from my face, I could see the edge of one of the bite marks I'd left on his pale skin and I had wanted nothing more than to add to them when I vividly recalled the taste of him. I glanced at the computer screen in front of me and realized Ducky was still yammering. I rolled my eyes and tried to focus on the case.

We headed out to the docks and I was only a little jealous that Tim called Tony instead of me when he returned to his office and found us gone. DiNozzo of course had to talk to him like he was an idiot even though all he needed to know was where we were. I refrained from reprimanding him; I had to stay cold about McGee. I knew it was for the best when my gut clenched as the sound of him calling my name carried on the air when he rushed to meet us with the requisite paperwork. Last night had been such a bad idea, but I couldn't bring myself to truly regret it.

"Everyone on the sub crews is accounted for," Tim said, nearly breathless. I frowned, thinking, and it deepened to a scowl as Tony reached out to touch Tim's tie. Yeah, it was goofy that he wore an outdated sport coat and wide tie, but I knew his collar was hiding all the marks I'd left on him as well. And _damnit_ I hated seeing DiNozzo touching him, especially with his derisive expression. The thought of grabbing his hand and putting him in a wrist lock to keep him away from Tim flashed through my mind.

"Including the Philadelphia?" I asked, still automatically following the case investigation.

"Yes, sir," Tim answered, and that formal response made me think about having him call me sir while I was buried balls deep in his ass... Moaning, whining, begging… _'Please, sir…'_ I nearly growled at my mental derailment, trying to get back on track.

"So a submariner is dead but none are missing, and the dead man's identity was removed," I clarified aloud, looking around at everything but Tim in order to have a chance at focusing. "Someone took his place on one of those subs."

Kate seemed incredulous. "An imposter?"

I gave a short nod. "Let's pay a visit to the submarine squadron commander," I said, and turned to head for said man's office.

**McGee**

He still wouldn't look at me, even when I'd done my job and gotten him the rosters. I just wanted him to look at me! I couldn't stand that he was walking away. He was close enough to touch, but a world away. I _had_ to get his attention again. Why wouldn't he look at me?

"You'll want to avoid Captain Veech," I called to him. He turned back toward me and I felt my eyes widen at his fierce expression. He was meeting my eyes now, and I immediately regretted calling his attention. I locked my knees, trying to behave normally.

"What?!" He snapped.

"Um, I, uh, met him once, before..." Gibbs stalked up to me and -_oh shit_- now his eyes were like blue lasers, and I so desperately wanted to close the gap between us and kiss him! I shook myself and stuttered to explain. "He can be very...difficult." His got even closer, right in my face, an inch away, and I smelled the coffee on his breath. His eyes were burning into me, and I felt my pants starting to constrict: I couldn't pop a boner in front of the other agents! I lowered my eyes, but my gaze caught on his lips, and he fucking sucked my dick last night with those lips wrapped around me and... I _had_ to think about something else, _anything_ else!

Pi! _3.1415926535897932384626433832…_

Oh god!

**Gibbs**

The light on his face, his cheeks flushed; he was aroused but trying so hard to be pro, to be helpful- oh, how I wanted him…

"And you don't think that _I_ can be difficult?" I asked, my voice low. His color heightened further and I watched him swallow hard. He was _so_ turned on - hell, so was I, but it just set me on fire with him frowning in concentration.

"I'm sure you can, sir."

And then he closed his eyes, and I wondered what thoughts this kid was using to get rid of the hard-on that was tenting his pants.

I couldn't help but smile, thinking again of making him call me sir. Playing the game, making him kneel, having him suck my cock with no hands, fucking his mouth…

I snapped back to reality and turned on my heel to go.

**McGee**

_Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap_... I closed my eyes, trying so hard to rein in my lust, my need to grab him and kiss him and rip his clothes off and... _No_!

I tried to think about the news story on land mines that I'd seen last week, the one with the horrific pictures of aftermath. I tried to recall the filthiest bathroom I'd ever seen, to imagine _anything_ that would calm my body. _Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium, Beryllium, Boron, Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen, Fluorine, Neon…_

I opened my eyes and he was gone and I had to run to catch up. But Gibbs ignored me and DiNozzo ordered me back to my office, basically insinuating that it was time for the grown-ups to work and as the kid I should just run along and play. I watched them head toward Veech's office and slowly walked back to my car. I slid behind the wheel and slumped, then let my head thump forward against the wheel. I was hopeless. I could barely even think straight. Ha! Straight; not even close. Maybe I was gay, maybe this was just showing me what I really wanted was men. But as handsome as agent DiNozzo was, he did nothing for me in that way. I ran through all the men I knew, and while some were attractive, the women in the office still held more allure than most of them. No, I was bi. I was bi and I wanted Jethro Gibbs.

**Gibbs**

My mood darkened after that. I hadn't been able to think of an excuse to keep McGee with us, so I let Tony send him away. Not turning to watch him leave was damn tough. I took my frustration out on the brusque Captain, forcing him to arrange for us to deploy onto the Philadelphia, and then Kate and I went to grab our kits and it was more than a little satisfying to send Tony back to the Norfolk office.

Transferring out to the sub to try to find the imposter saboteur gave me too much time to remember. I'd thought of the kid since that weekend, sure. Sometimes, between hook-ups, or late at night; after a particularly bad experience with a woman; that kind of thing. I'd recall his smile, the way he was so eager to please... Then maybe I'd think of how he tasted... How amazingly good he was at blow jobs, looking up at me; an angel on his knees, eyes raised to mine like a supplicant. Yeah, I'd thought about him.

But seeing him again, having new memories of him crying out, this time calling me Jethro... Damn. And he was older, with a bit more experience under his belt, so to speak. That way his smile was more knowing, how he'd manipulated me; I was having a hell of a time concentrating. That soft, white skin, curving and pliable with harder muscle beneath… Those gorgeous blue-green eyes, and those pouty, baby-faced lips…

He was just so fucking young! The four years previous, with him barely twenty-one, I'd been able to tell myself it was just a fling. As I sat there next to Kate, it hit me that she was older than Tim. Years older, and she was acting pretty young right at the moment, so excited about going onto a nuclear sub, but still... As rawly emotional as he was, Tim had a wisdom to him that made it not matter that he was young enough to be my son, and then some.

I shook myself. It _did_ matter. He was too young. He needed to experience life and real love and he wouldn't do that if he was hung up on me.

Not pursuing this was the right decision. It really was. Definitely.

_Uh-huh._

**McGee**

I got back to my office and moved all the extra files from my desk into the basket for the intern to re-file. Not having a particular assignment at the moment, other than to be on call for MCRT, I decided to research Leroy Jethro Gibbs. I spent an hour and a half online, digging far deeper than I'd planned to. I knew it was stalker-ish to do, but I kept myself to public web sites only. What I found was his work records from the Marines and NCIS were impressive: lots of commendations. But his personal life was incredibly sad, with three divorces and the tragic loss of his first wife and daughter. I closed my browser after reading the obituaries of Shannon and Kelly Gibbs. I wondered if his team even knew?

"Decided to tidy up a bit, eh, McGee?" DiNozzo's voice came from behind me. I really needed to mount a mirror so I could see my door.

"Squared away, yes, sir," I replied evenly. "Where's Gibbs?" I asked. My heart ached for him even more now. Maybe he was just pushing me away because he hadn't been able to make a relationship work since being widowed…

"He and Kate are going out to the Philadelphia," he informed me. My heart sank. I was stuck here with the agent who thought I was twelve. Great. At least it was nearly the end of the day. I could escape soon back to my apartment and see if the smell of Gibbs still lingered on my pillow. I could try to figure out a way to make him see that there was a chance for something between us… I sighed.

**Gibbs**

Talking to the Captain of the sub was typical of dealing with a peace-time officer caught up in his wargames. Trying to convince him that his men were in danger with as little evidence as we had was tough, but not anything I hadn't dealt with before.

We interviewed the new crewmen who met the general description of our dead man, but came up empty. I was more and more relieved that it was Kate I'd brought on board. Not only was she the best person for the job, she didn't yammer like Tony. She stayed focused on the case, and it helped me to do so as well. When we reported our lack of progress, the skipper tried to throw us off the boat, but he was just posturing. I wasn't going to let him endanger the lives of his crew by sending us away. I just had to figure out how to tell the imposter from the honest crewmembers. How?

**McGee**

I almost groaned when I found Tony in my office the next morning. I'd slept better than I'd thought I would with how disturbed I was. At least I had after I'd beaten off twice thinking about what Gibbs and I had done the night before. I'd run scenarios through my head about how to convince Gibbs that I was relationship material, but none of them were playing out right. I'd finally concluded that Gibbs wanted someone with more experience, so I'd better get some, fast. But now here was the annoying agent DiNozzo, taking my chair, playing with the office supplies in my desk, yammering like he actually thought I should be listening.

When he got a call that their D.C. people were faxing us a picture of our dead man, I was immensely relieved to have his attention anywhere but on me and my stuff. He put the call on speaker, and I was again struck by the husky sound of their forensic specialist's voice. It was really pretty cute. She spoke flirtatiously to me, but DiNozzo cut the call off before I could respond. Shotgun effect. Well, why not?

"What's she look like?" I asked.

"Who?"

"Abby. She sounds cute."

"Not your type," he replied absently. I bristled. I bet he never would have thought my type was gruff and handsome and more than twice my age, either.

"How do you know that?"

"Have you ever felt the slightest urge to tattoo your buttocks, McGee?"

That wasn't what I expected. "I don't...think so."

"Then we need never speak of her again."

For him, that was the end of that subject. He sent me to circulate the photo and I winced as I obeyed, thinking of him rifling my desk further while I was gone.

**Gibbs**

Kate and I re-hashed what we knew over and over, and realized that all our assumptions were based on the crewman's personnel records being correct. I had to get Tony to double check the source.

Brow-beating the Captain of the boat again, this time forcing him to break off from his wargame to take the sub up enough for me to call NCIS, was not winning me any popularity contests, but I did what I had to and finally reached DiNozzo. I knew he'd let me know what he found, so I went back to work and we re-hashed what we knew yet again.

**McGee**

I'm ashamed to admit that I took a fair amount of satisfaction when Gibbs called and gave DiNozzo a bit of a smack down. And I was honestly relieved that we had an assignment, and we headed for the personnel office. Hanging around waiting with him was very unpleasant.

The pretty lieutenant who came to help us seemed rather interested in DiNozzo, and I watched as he used that and his cheesy smile to charm her. I diligently took notes and recognized a gap in his questioning.

"Sir? Uh, may I ask the Lieutenant a question?"

"McGee, you don't need my permission to ask a question...as long as you're not asking her on a date..." He was obviously distracted as he watched her and barely acknowledged me.

"No, sir, not my type," I answered, keeping the snarky tone I wanted to use only in my mind and not my voice. It was true, though. Anyone who wasn't smart enough to see through DiNozzo's smarmy, used-car salesman approach wouldn't be of any interest to me.

When he introduced me with my question to her like he was a parent encouraging his kindergartner, I did my best to ignore it.

"Ah, I was just wondering if anyone had quit in the last few days...?"

And DiNozzo's demeanor changed completely when I was right. We had a lead on an accomplice.

**Gibbs**

The only suspect who had made my gut twitch was the one who had lied about a whole year of his life, so I got Kate to distract the COB and went to question him again. When she complained about me 'shoving water down her throat', I immediately flashed on blowing Tim and had to shake myself to get back on track.

The whole ruse of making Kate drink a bunch of water so she'd have to get the COB to show her how to use the toilet was for naught. Not only did the petty officer I'd suspected give me an answer which rang true (he'd spent the missing year in juvenile detention); I was caught and dressed down by our liaison to the Captain. Tony, Abby, or Ducky had better come up with something, because my gut was telling me we were running out of time.

**McGee**

I couldn't believe the maverick way DiNozzo gained us access to the suspect's house with pretending (badly) to play football and throwing a rock through a window, but when we discovered the secret room behind his bookcase, I was glad he had. It appeared obvious that he was part of the eco-terror plan from his screen saver depicting a whale smashing a military submarine.

As I quickly pulled information off the suspect's hard drive, it felt good to show off to DiNozzo with my computer skills and my technical knowledge of chemistry, but I sobered quickly when I realized that not only was an entire crew of a U.S. Navy submarine in danger, so was Gibbs.

"Sarin gas. He's planning on introducing it into a submarine's air conditioning system... Doesn't say how."

DiNozzo spotted a prototype of a canister which was likely the intended delivery system, and I was glad to hand off the reins to him as he called it in. Then I just started praying.

**Gibbs**

The sub tilted severely, and somehow I knew it was DiNozzo's fault that I was plastered against a bulkhead with Kate pressed against my chest. An emergency blow on a submarine was quite the experience, and Kate's reaction when we leveled out, "Wow," was pretty succinct.

I smirked. "Yeah, that's what they all tell me," I replied, my typical response, and she smacked me for it. But I was hearing a breathless, twenty-one year old Tim McGee saying it.

_"Wow. If straight men knew anal sex could be that good, we'd get the population problem under control real fast,"_ he'd said. And he'd made me laugh, which was so rare in those days.

Damnit.

We found out who our imposter was when we reached the bridge via an emergency message from DiNozzo, and that he knew he'd been discovered. We found him dead on his bunk where he'd killed himself, but we still didn't know if he'd planted the gas somewhere aboard. The skipper had the sub hurrying back toward Norfolk, and Kate and I sent back to the ward room.

**McGee**

DiNozzo took off back to Washington and left me with all the paperwork from the house he'd broken into. It took all my writing skills to spin our entry into something which sounded vaguely legitimate, but at least he wasn't looking over my shoulder anymore. My first experience in the field and all I could think about was Gibbs, four years ago, picking me up on the side of the road and giving me the best time in my life...

_Climbing into the older man's bed in that motel room was like ascending to heaven._

_"You ever been blown by another guy?" He asked, his voice so quiet I leaned closer to hear him._

_"Uh, one of my dad's officers when I was fifteen..."_

_He chuckled. "Well, I'm better than any officer," he boasted. Then he shifted closer on the pillow we were sharing and he kissed me. He rolled me back, leaning over me, and kissed his way down my neck. He stripped my t-shirt off and continued further down, stopping to lick and suck my nipples. I wasn't in a cheap motel anymore; I was flying, and he was guiding me._

_When he got my boxers off and wrapped his mouth around my dick, I took off for orbit. He was right: this was better than anything anyone had ever done to me, and I suddenly knew that I wanted to return the favor, to taste him and feel his hardness inside me. I wanted to do everything with him._

_He hummed and stuck his finger up my butt and stroked inside me and waves of pleasure swamped me. I came so hard I felt like the head of my cock was my entire existence..._

I needed to see him again, and I had an idea working through the back of my mind that I wanted to share with him. I ran through my contacts, trying to sound bored and official, and I found out when the Philadelphia and the NCIS agents would be getting back to Norfolk. They'd need a ride back from the docks to their motel, and since I was working the case with them, it was only logical that I would be waiting for them...right?

**Gibbs**

"How can you drink coffee when it's a hundred degrees?" Kate asked as I paced the room. The Captain had kept the air conditioning turned off as a precaution against the canister being activated by the cold. Something wasn't right, and I was turning it over and over trying to figure out what the problem was.

"It helps me think," I replied absently.

"What's bugging you?" She pursued.

"Travis not releasing the Sarin."

"He never had the chance. He was quarantined or on duty until the air conditioning system was shut down."

"What was his backup plan?" I paused, but she didn't say anything even as she began to look thoughtful. "He woulda had one."

"What makes you so sure?"

"This whack-job knew he was gonna die as soon as he released the gas. Why commit suicide before he could do it?"

I could tell Kate was playing devil's advocate even as her own suspicions were raised by my questions.

"He knew we were onto him? Like you said, he was a whack-o - "

A knock interrupted her. It was a steward from the galley delivering ice cream they'd had to remove from the freezer to make room for the corpse. He listed the flavors, and Kate seemed to have not thought through why we were getting the treat. I sat down and grabbed the cookies and cream bowl. I dug in after explaining to Kate about them making room in the freezer. I almost laughed at her squeamish reaction; she was a hardened federal agent, but was disturbed by the practicality of dealing with preserving evidence?

The sweet creaminess of the dessert took me back. I hadn't had this flavor since... Shit. Since I was with Tim four years ago. Between rounds of sex, he'd gone out to the convenience store for supplies, and returned with a pint of cookies and cream.

_"What do you plan to do with that?" I asked. He blushed._

_"I, um, I thought we could... Well, eat some, and I had an idea... Can I surprise you?" He stammered. I chuckled and agreed. We shared the spoon and ate half the carton, then he got creative. He blew me, switching between a cold mouthful of ice cream and a sip of warm water. Shit! The combination made me shake, and when I came, thrusting hard into his perfect mouth, he swallowed it down with as much relish as he'd dug into the ice cream to begin with. Then he looked up at me with bright eyes and a hopeful expression. All he wanted was to please me, and man, did he ever._

' -SOP on a sub," the steward finished explaining to Kate. I ate one more bite as I felt an idea rising like a bubble to the surface of my mind.

"What?" Kate asked, noticing my expression.

The bubble burst, and I knew the saboteur's backup plan. "Anyone who's served on a sub knows that!" I said, and we hustled out. The canister for the gas had been a cold-activated one, and the man knew that his body would get cold when stored in the freezer. "Travis didn't commit suicide to give up- suicide was his backup plan!" The COB was still guarding the passage outside and I barked, "Where's the freezer COB?"

We pulled the body and found the corpse bloated with the deadly gas. My brain kicked into high speed and I knew the only way to get it off the boat before it burst and killed the entire crew was through a torpedo tube. We muscled the body in its bag through the ship, and I prayed the jostling wouldn't cause his skin to rupture and release the poison. Ironically, the young petty officer who'd been my chief suspect until I re-interviewed him was the torpedo tech who got to flush away our threat.

The high I felt as the case was solved made me cocky. "COB, I don't have to tell you what the most important thing is now, do I?"

"Get the ice cream back in the freezer," he replied. I swaggered ahead.

"_Exactly._"

~~~NCIS~~~

_A/N One, maybe two chapters left. I'm considering making this a series of stories, each based around one episode in which I keep to the canon of the show but gave some off-camera action when I think Gibbs and Tim might have been hooking up. I like to think of them being there for each other when either of them need it; an unconventional and ongoing relationship. Any thoughts? Suggestions for episodes? I think I'd go in order, so early stuff would be what I'd look at next. Sorry, Genealady, if I do the series, I'm going to keep using this style with the switching first person POV; I'm having fun with it, and everyone else who has reviewed so far has been at least okay with it._


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N This last chapter was hard to complete. I hope ya'll like it. It went dark and angsty to the point where I changed the genre. Sorry if you actually wanted humor; it wasn't meant to be in this one. I'm not totally satisfied with how it came out, but I really want to get going on other things, and I swore I wouldn't leave you hanging. _

Chapter Four

**McGee**

I paced the debarkation area, waiting for Kate and Gibbs arrival on the Coast Guard boat that was their last leg returning from the Philadelphia. I'd called DiNozzo to let him know I was taking care of picking them up; he hadn't cared, too caught up in plans for his date with the redhead from personnel. It made me a little nervous that he'd be in Norfolk while I was trying to seduce his boss, but the likelihood that we'd run into him was really slim; Norfolk is a populous town, and the places I wanted to take Jethro – Gibbs – weren't trendy date-spots like Tony probably frequented. I had plans, and hopes for another endless night of passion, but as I strode up and down the pier, my mind kept drifting back to four years ago...

_He was heroic, swooping in and rescuing me. Then when we stopped to get some sleep and there was only one room... It was like fate had wanted us to be together._

_I lay there in my boxers and t-shirt, unable to sleep with the gorgeous man in the next bed. He'd been kind and funny as we drove, and he'd made it seems like it wasn't a big deal to share a room when the motel was full. I'd had to concentrate on every erection-withering idea I had to get from the bathroom to my bed with him in the room, and I didn't dare masturbate now, so I tried miserably to rest. It was an hour after we'd bid each other good-night, and I had finally started to doze when I heard the susurration of skin in skin as he started to beat off. It was agony; I was hard as a rock and wanting him so bad..._

_"You could join me," he said. It was so quiet that if I hadn't been straining to hear every breath, each stroke, it wouldn't have even woken me._

_"O-o-over there, or just...by myself?" I asked in a breathy whisper._

_"Come here," he said, his voice like velvet, and oh my god, I did. We spent two days in that room, and when we finally left, I thought my ass would never be the same._

I could see the spotlight from the boat coming in and I let it bring my focus back to the present.

**Gibbs**

He kept it together pretty well when he picked us up. I stayed casual when he drove to our motel and we dropped Kate off before we left, ostensibly to take me to the company sedan I'd left at the Norfolk office. A few blocks on he pulled over and sat in silence as the car idled. I waited patiently, wanting him to suggest we spend the night together but unsure if that's what he was trying for.

"Could I, um, ask a favor? Or just advice maybe?" He asked. Not what I expected.

"Sure," I said. I was hoping he was going to ask for another night of screwing, but that wasn't the vibe I was getting.

"I, um, I have a lunch date with Abby tomorrow," he said. He kind of peeked at me sideways and I kept my face straight even when my stomach dropped. Jesus, why _Abby_? Why someone I knew? She'd certainly be good for him, open his experience, but _damn_… "And Agent DiNozzo... He mentioned that maybe, uh, having a tattoo might, um, give me a better shot at her. So, um, there's a shop... Would you, uh, come with me?"

**McGee**

I finally looked at him full on and my heart rate increased just seeing that gorgeous face. Unfortunately, he was looking pretty inscrutable, and I bit my lip.

"You wanna get a tattoo," he said, his voice flat. I cleared my throat and nodded. "To impress Abby."

"Not just, uh, her. It's kinda more of a thing... So I've been thinking about your shotgun effect suggestion, and I kinda realized that I've been thinking pretty narrowly about the type of person I might want to spend my life with."

He raised his eyebrow and I took that to mean he was listening.

"When I think of my future, the idea of who might share it with me is pretty...vanilla. I'm usually attracted to just the most ordinary kind of -"

His eyes narrowed and got that laser look.

"N-not you. Obviously. But that - that's kinda what I mean. You're the best I've ever had, and you're pretty far outside the box, you know?"

His mouth twisted a little and I could tell he was flattered. I smiled at that cocky expression. God, he was so handsome!

"So something like a tattoo would help me remember to keep an open mind about people. Might make me a little more attractive to those sorts, too. Does that... Does that make any sense?"

**Gibbs**

He was such a thinker. It was one of those things that made him even more attractive. I could imagine discussing things with him, really having great conversations and figuring out where he stood on all kinds of topics...

But those were dangerous thoughts.

"Where are you gonna put it?" I asked instead.

"Well I don't want to see it so often I get to where I don't notice it. I want it to remind me every time to keep thinking more openly. So, uh, my ass. Or hip, maybe."

I tried not to groan. Just the mention of his ass sent my thoughts to dark, sensual places. "What design?"

"Um... Well, uh -" He hesitated and blushed. I waited. "See, my mother died in childbirth with me, and I love my stepmom, I mean, she's just my mom, y'know? She raised me. So, um, kinda to honor both of them I was thinking 'mom', with angel wings."

I couldn't help but wonder if me calling him angel might have contributed to the design as well, but I let that thought lie.

"Yeah. I'll go."

**McGee**

It didn't hurt as much as I thought it was going to. Having Gibbs there with me probably had some endorphins going, but in any case, it wasn't too bad. I paid and we went back to my car.

"Thank you for coming with me," I said. He just nodded and I started worrying. "Um, I guess I should take you to your car now." He grunted ascent and my stomach twisted. I'd hoped...

When we got to the nearly empty parking lot outside my office, and I pulled up beside his car, he didn't get out right away. My hopes rose and I threw caution aside.

"The aftercare for my tat was to wash it, um, and rub some stuff on it. Would, uh, would you help me with that?"

He looked at me, his face unreadable, and eventually, I lowered my eyes. Of course. He'd had what he wanted, and now…

"One more night," he said softly, and I stared in surprise.

"Yeah? Really?"

He chuckled, but I didn't feel like he was mocking me, just… I don't know, maybe sharing the feelings of joy that overwhelmed every other sense I had? I don't know, but I was glad.

"I'll follow you back to your place," he said, and got out of the car.

**Gibbs**

What was I doing? I wasn't good for him. I was indulging myself in the worst possible way. But he wanted it. He wanted _me_. I've always found that an attractive attribute. The hell with caution. He wanted it, I wanted it, and even though he looked like a seventeen year old, he was a grown man, fully capable of making his own decisions and his own mistakes. I was going to give him a night to remember. And I'd have the memory, too. It was something we'd always share. And I firmly ignored the fact that I wanted to share more than this with him, but I'd take what I could get.

The drive to his apartment was mercifully short, and the moment the door closed, I was on him, pushing him against it, kissing him hard, plundering his mouth. He tasted _so good_. A little sweet, like he'd eaten a candy, but fresh and clean. And those lips! God, his lips moved like they were dancing. I shoved his overcoat off of him, and started sucking down the side of his neck as I unbuttoned his shirt. His hands were holding my sides, under my clothes, though I didn't remember feeling him untuck my polo or undershirt. There was so much strength in him as he gripped me, not squeezing tight and desperate, just holding me steady, like support. When I got the last button free, I slid the fabric off of him, savoring the sight of his skin, perfect and white, appearing before me. His warm hands slid up, and I raised my arms and let him strip my upper body bare. His eyes raked my flesh as mine had his, and I knew he was loving what he saw just as I loved how he looked. I wanted to taste every inch of that pale chest. I wanted to hear him moan…

"I'm giving you a back rub first, kid," I informed him. I needed to slow things down, and it would give me chance to memorize his body. The look he gave me was exasperated, but he didn't voice his protest, he just sighed. I slid my hand down his arm and threaded my fingers with his, then drew him toward his bedroom.

**McGee**

I stopped him in the doorway. I needed to ask him for something, but I didn't know how to say it. I knew I couldn't bear it if he started giving me advice on dating while we were in bed together like he had the other night. I wanted this to be the start of something, and I knew it wasn't going to be, but the only way I could wrap my brain, or really, my heart, around this, was to convince myself he really wanted to be with me. Of the handful of people I'd slept with, I had never really felt like they just wanted me. Tara loved orgasms. Tommy wanted the experience. Catherine…I don't know what she wanted, but in the end, it wasn't me. The couple of girls I'd slept with before that night when I was at MIT hadn't been looking for anything special. I needed to believe that Gibbs thought I was special. Even if I was fooling myself.

"I know you don't want—" _me_, I thought, but didn't say it, "—a relationship, but do you think that tonight…tonight maybe we, um, maybe we… Can I pretend that…" I looked down, mortified that I couldn't even say the words.

He tilted my chin up, forcing me to meet that stunning blue-eyed gaze. I swallowed hard and he raised his eyebrows, compelling me silently to continue.

"Just tonight, can I pretend you're…_mine_?" I whispered, flushing deeply with shame at my neediness, the pathetic desire I'd just admitted to.

**Gibbs**

Christ on crutches! How could he not see how bad I wanted him? I felt like it must be written all over my face, but those big eyes just stared at me, begging. He could probably demand anything from me, and I'd do it, but all he was asking was this.

"Tim," I said, "tonight, I _am_ yours." I could hear how rough my voice sounded, but it was a bald truth, and it was exactly what he wanted to hear. He looked at me like he'd just won the fucking lottery. I knew I was no prize, but he seemed to think so, and I was in no state to argue. I kissed him, and he threw his arms around me and squeezed hard. It felt damn good. I held him back just as tight, slowly exploring his mouth, our tongues swirling together.

He was losing himself in the moment, and I felt my own caution crumble. I wanted to pretend just like he was; if I could come home to these kisses, this sweet, warm embrace and the powerfully hot sex, I was tempted to throw it all away.

Tim snuggled his body closer to me and started nuzzling my neck. His soft hands ran up and down my back, and he was sealed up tight against me from knees to neck. God! He was intoxicating. I tightened my grip on his back and slid my hand down to grab his ass. He flinched slightly when I touched the sensitive, recently tattooed spot on his hip, and I cupped the fuller, fleshy cheeks instead, and he slowly started humping my hip. A tremor ran through me. Fuck the backrub. I was gonna nail him to the mattress.

**McGee**

My body was moving on its own, rubbing against him, begging to get a move on, to get naked, to feel him. I'd gotten myself completely empty and clean so I was ready for anything he wanted to do. And I wanted everything from him, every experience, every sensation. I let my short fingernails trace his spine, and with a grunt, he shoved me toward the bed. I went eagerly, dropping onto my back and waiting breathlessly. He stared down at me and I was mesmerized. Long moments passed, then he suddenly moved and stripped my pants off, carefully peeling my underwear over my new tattoo, but quickly taking my shoes, socks, everything off, until I lay there naked, still entranced by him: his movement, his gaze.

He climbed on top of me, and the feel of his pants still covering him, skidding against my bare thighs, made me shudder. I gasped, whining a little. I wanted him right now, in every possible way.

**Gibbs **

I was _going_ to take it slow. Back rub, maybe a shower; put that cream or whatever on his tattoo, kiss him until he couldn't see straight. I _really_ planned on taking it slow. Then he made that little whimper, and I couldn't stand it a minute longer.

I smashed my lips against his, plunging my tongue into his mouth, rutting our pelvises together. An eager moan tore out of me. I was lost in the taste of him, the soft feel of him. I wanted in him, and soon.

"Tim, baby, I wanna fuck you, now... Can't wait. Gotta have you…" I groaned.

"Yes! Yes!" His voice was barely a breath against my lips. I felt his arm snake out to one side and then he was pushing against my chest. I looked down and was swept with relief when I saw lube and a condom packet. I took them from his shaking hand and set them by his hips. No matter how desperate I was, I was going to make it great for him, too. I slid down and nosed his sack, then licked and sucked his balls while I unfastened my pants, kicked my shoes onto the floor, then shucked the rest of my clothes off. When I got my attention back on him, I paused to watch and listen to him. He was tossing his head on the pillow, and moaning my name. Fuck! That was so hot.

I grabbed the lube and condom.

**McGee**

He started fingering me and I thought I was gonna lose it. He hadn't _touched_ my dick and I was ready to erupt. As fun as it had been with to top Tommy, I doubted I'd ever want anything but bottoming with Jethro. _If_ we ever got to do this after tonight. That thought sobered me, and I looked down at him, catching him watching my face. My hips kept moving on their own, rocking on the fingers inside me, but I just stared, reminded that this was it. He looked up and met my eyes. As much as I wanted to hide what I was feeling, it was useless. I could see him reading my expression, and I felt a flash of fear. It was unfounded, and I stared in all at the complex amalgam of emotions I could see in his gorgeous eyes. Lust, gentleness, compassion, and I thought I saw a deep sadness along with a towering strength. He tilted his head and finally gave a roguish half smile and a wink. He crooked his finger inside me and licked my cock from the base to the tip, swirling his tongue around the wet head where I'd been leaking.

"Jethro!" I nearly screamed. I wasn't going to last but another minute with his mouth on me. But he knew that, too; he shifted up and I pulled my legs up, folding in half, so ready for him that I was in position and spread open like a total slut in an instant. He didn't seem to mind, and when I felt him breach my opening, sliding home in one move, I think I _did_ scream.

**Gibbs**

Oh that sound. A wail or some kind of drawn-out yelp… Everything he did made me want him more. I closed my eyes for a long moment, regret that our time together was so limited, then I gave myself a mental smack and focused back on now. This instant. This night. I had a lifetime ahead to lament, now was the time to _revel_.

He was just as hot and tight as I remembered. I wanted to make it last, but I was too far along. I set up a punishing rhythm, shoving deep, hunched over him, starting to sweat. I rested on my elbows, then slid my hands under his back so I could grab his shoulders and hold him steady as I fucked him hard, digging my fingers in, noticing the marks on the shoulder I'd mashed two nights before. He didn't mind, though. He'd lost words; he was vocalizing mindlessly with every thrust. I could feel his hard-on against my belly, and I was pretty sure he was going to come any moment. It was going to take me over the edge, too, I knew it, so I snapped my hips harder and faster, squeezing my eyes shut and concentrating on the heat and friction and the rolling feeling of sliding in and out of his beautiful body. So good!

**McGee**

I had never heard myself make such guttural, animalistic sounds! But I had also never been fucked like that. It was the most base, pure experience of my life. Him…and me…joined completely, like we were one being, and the buildup was _both_ of us, piling ecstasy on ecstasy until the pressure, that incredible desire, was just agonizing… Tightening like a spring…coiling… Ready… _Reaching_… Almost… _Almost_… Any moment…

_YES!_

**Gibbs**

"_Fuck…_" I grunted.

He came and tightened like a fist, and his pumping out a heavy spray of come, his voice wailing, his angel face screwed up and red and perfect was too much. I collapsed onto him, straining in the eternal moment of orgasm, my entire awareness encompassed in my cock, buried in him, surrounded, enveloped…_cherished_.

Everything went white.

~~~NCIS~~~

**McGee**

He was heavy on top of me, and I was uncertain if he was even conscious. The weight felt good, but I really needed to stretch my legs out. I shifted slightly and at least got my heels back onto the mattress. Catherine had made me do yoga with her, and I'd taken it up again after Tommy and I started trying to be intimate, just so I'd be ready for this kind of situation. I was glad I'd kept limber enough for this much knees-at-my-ears sex.

Once I was more comfortable, I was able to wrap my arms around Jethro, and I did. He still had his arms under me, and I was pretty sure he'd need to move soon or have them fall asleep under the full weight of my body, but it felt so good that I selfishly wanted to stay this way for a long time. I felt completely embraced, and it was the most precious feeling I'd had in years. I felt desired and wanted and... Loved. Even if just for this moment, I let myself claim the word in my thoughts. I felt _loved_ by Jethro Gibbs.

**Gibbs**

It was such a stunning orgasm that I just lay there for a long while. Everything with this kid was just so intense. Maybe it was the time limit, the stolen pleasure, but it made for some amazing sex. He dropped his legs and hugged me, and the sweetness of the gesture warmed my heart. But it also set up an uneasiness in me, because I _knew_ what he was feeling, knew what he thought he wanted. And for damn sure I wasn't the one to give it to him: I sucked at relationships. And this passionate, emotional man was never going to settle for less than the real deal. At least he wasn't going to settle if I had anything to say about it.

Abby wouldn't be the one, but she'd be a good experience for him nonetheless. Selfishly, I was relieved that I knew her well enough to know that there was no way she'd commit to a real relationship, not even with someone as incredible as Tim. She'd be a good way to keep tabs on him for a while, though. After that, I'd have to get creative to watch out for him.

Shit. I was planning a future for him and I wasn't even intending to be a part of it. Yet I couldn't imagine saying good-bye the following day and never knowing what had happened to him. Damnit. How did I end up like this?

**McGee**

When he finally roused and moved, his face was a closed-off mask as he silently rose and went to the bathroom. A wave of cold crashed over me, and I thought I was going to puke. What had I done wrong? Was it how I'd wantonly thrown myself into sex? But I _knew_ he enjoyed it!

My mind was in a tail-chasing spiral of uncertainty and fear when he returned. A warm washcloth was in his hand and he wiped my belly off, then wiped away the inevitable stickiness as well. The look on his face was different when he cleaned my body than it had been when he got up, but I still couldn't tell what the hell was going on. It was like the whole situation had gone from dream come true (for one night, anyway) to surreal, and I had no idea what to make of it. He tossed the washrag toward the bathroom and settled on the bed next to me. I watched him warily, but he just slid one arm under my neck and put his other across my chest.

"You okay?" He asked. I frowned.

"Are _you_?"

His smile was gentle and sad. "I'm having a great time. _You're_ thinking too much."

"Uh-huh. _I_ am," I said incredulously. "And you're what…coasting? Something changed… Wh-what's…why are you… I don't understand."

He ghosted his hand across my forehead, smoothing my hair, and it was such a soothing gesture my eyes slid closed. A second caress, and I forgot what I'd asked him. Two more, and I drifted to sleep.

**Gibbs**

I had to get my shit together. If I was going to stay through the night and screw him repeatedly, I needed to get my head in it. But as I lay there and watched him doze, I found myself reconsidering yet again. What was it about this boy that made me act totally out of character? I was decisive. My way or the highway. I'd decided we weren't going to get into a relationship, that we were just going to fuck this night away, and now I was having to convince myself yet _again_ why it wasn't a good idea. I sighed, and he stirred in response to my agitation. I stroked his forehead, and he settled. It was such a child-like response, and it helped harden my resolve.

Tonight. That was it.

He slept for about an hour, then woke and turned to me, smiling that adorable little smile. I kissed him lightly.

"You got any coffee?" I asked.

"Yeah. I'll make you some. C'mon," he replied, and climbed out of bed. He hadn't been this at ease being naked in front of me two nights ago, so I decided we'd made progress as I followed him out, enjoying the slight jiggle of his ass as he walked. The light bandage over his tattoo was hanging askew, and I caught his arm.

"We should take care of that," I gestured at it. He agreed and we went together into the bathroom. I helped him remove the bandage and put the goo he had for it gently on the sensitive skin. I couldn't help but fondle his butt cheek when I was done, and he grinned at that and drew me into his arms. We started kissing, and things began heating up again. I cleared my throat. "Coffee," I demanded, disengaging. I was running on a few hours of broken sleep on the way back from the Philadelphia on various transports, and I needed the caffeine.

After a cup and a half, he was done waiting and started running his hands over me. I had told him I was his for the night, so I figured he was entitled. It felt really damn good, too. He had soft fingers that seemed to be reading my skin like braille. I set my mug down and pushed off from where I was leaning against his kitchen counter, pulling him against me and kissing him. His smooth skin felt so good. I slid my hands down and palmed his ass again, kneading it, and I heard him groan. I sucked on his tongue and a shudder passed through me.

**McGee**

I moaned as he shifted his hips and I could feel his hardness against mine. I couldn't believe he was already ready for another round. He was the older guy! He continued to kiss me as he led me across the room, only breaking off when he sat down on my little sofa. I stared dumbly at him, panting. That crooked, cocky half-smile nearly made my knees give way. He took ahold of my hips and turned me around. It was almost a relief to not look at him. Every time I stared into his eyes, I felt like the world stopped, like I was in a totally different realm. I heard him moving behind me, the telltale sound of a condom wrapper being opened, then he spoke.

"Sit on me," he ordered. His voice was rough again, and I now had enough experience with him to know it was desire that made it so. His hands gripped my hips to steady me as I bent over and started to lower myself. When I felt the heat of him against my crack, one hand moved onto the small of my back to steady me while the other lined up his cock with my ass. My legs were trembling, less from strain than from need. Need to be filled, to have him back in me. I sank down and heard my voice exhale in a long, drawn-out cry. Perfect, so perfect! Jethro, hard and deep and close. _Yes!_

**Gibbs**

I pulled on his hips again, getting him to settle fully on my lap, then I wrapped my arms around him and just relished the moment.

Oh, so _hot_! Tight and rippling and oh fuck, he smelled so good. I just wanted to stay like this, forever. But I felt his hard-on bob against my hand, and the sounds he was making! Oh God. I gripped his cock and gave a good thrust up, and he just started sobbing in pleasure, my name, over and over. It was the best sound I'd heard in a long, long time.

It was a bit of a strain to move and push into the full weight of him sitting on my lap, so I knew we'd have to change position soon, but he felt so amazing! I decided he was going to come like this, then we'd shift. I licked the broad expanse of his back, tasting his sweat and started jacking him.

**McGee**

I couldn't move. I self-consciously wanted to brace myself somehow to keep my full weight from crushing him, to hold his thighs or the arms of the couch or something, but he had me spellbound. His hardness, deep inside me, filling - _fulfilling_, and his powerful hand wrapped around my cock; I just sat there and trembled.

He started a slow rhythm, a few strokes on my hard-on, then a bumping thrust from his hips.

"Jeth - Jethro! Oh god! Oh fuck! Yes, _yes_! _Jethro_!" I moaned mindlessly, crying out when he bucked. He was licking my back, and I could feel the stubble from his chin. I wanted to see him, wanted to kiss him until that stubble left my face raw, but he was in total control so I just let him have me; I let him become my entire existence.

…So far inside me I imagined I could nearly taste the latex. His hand… The callouses, skimming over my shaft, then his palm giving a twist to stimulate my glans. It was bizarre, not being able to see him, just feel every move he made, completely focused on _me_.

"Ah! God! So good! Jeth-ro…ah!" His hand moving faster on my cock, as well as him filling me up, nudging me from below, had me panting. I was going to come, I couldn't stop it. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the tremendous pleasure coursing through me like a current, setting my whole body to tingling. But soon all that stimulation returned to center, and my awareness became intent on my pelvic region. "Oh – oh – _oh_!"

**Gibbs**

I felt it when he let go; when he surrendered completely, and his trust in me made my heart ache. It was such a beautiful gift, and it made me want to be worthy of it. I concentrated on the hand job, listening to his responses, feeling how his ass clenched with certain movements, and I started to speed up. The curved cock in my hand, skin slick with the lube I'd retained from applying it to my own while he'd stood there and waited for me; it thickened and I could feel his heartbeat in it when I cupped the head and squeezed a little before resuming my strokes.

"Je - oh - ah - fu - Je - Je - " His vocalizations became monosyllabic, and I grinned, or bared my teeth, anyway. The pitch rose, and he grew impossibly tighter on my cock, making me groan. He felt so fucking good! His back arched and he gave the most incredible sound as he came, his hot canal nearly vibrating, come jetting from the warm rod in my fist. I closed my eyes tight and tried to memorize it. It was a moment I never wanted to forget.

**McGee**

The way he played my body like an instrument was so much _more_, so much better than any other lover. I wanted it to last forever, but his hand moved like he was reading my mind and I came and it seemed to go on forever _and_ be over in an instant. Was he a Time Lord with mastery over the minutes and seconds? All I could think was that he was a god and I was the luckiest mortal _ever_. Then when it was over I was shaking and he held me and soothed me and I wanted to tell him what he meant to me, but even though we were pretending like tonight was just another night, it was really the _last_ night, and if I said those things I'd break when it was morning and he said goodbye.

**Gibbs**

I'd planned on changing positions and continuing to pound that sweet ass, but when he finished coming, he was shaking so hard and I could feel him trying not to cry. I gripped his waist and pushed him up so I could pull out, then I made him turn sideways on my lap and I held him. He buried his face in my neck, curling his tall frame into a ball, and I felt the sobs he suppressed so that they made his chest jerk.

"It's okay, Tim. You can cry. It's okay," I whispered. He finally shed a few tears, but it only lasted a minute once he let it out. I cupped the back of his head and waited.

"I'm sorr-"

"Uh-uh. Don't apologize. It's okay to be vulnerable, to be overwhelmed. Like you said," I smiled a little as he blinked at me. "I'm a hell of a lay."

**McGee**

I burst out laughing. He knew exactly what I needed, in every moment. It was wonderful, and it was horrible, knowing it was going to end. I wiped my face off and kissed him, slowly. I knew he hadn't come, and I could feel his erection still firm against my hip. Suddenly, I wanted him to regret this being over tonight as much as I did. I slid off his lap and dropped to my knees in front of him. I removed the condom, and with a smile, wrapped my lips around him.

Tommy and I had messed around with more than anal sex, and the two girls I'd slept with had blown me upon occasion; so I used everything I could think of or recall to make it spectacular. I was glad I'd practiced with Tommy when I deep-throated him and he actually cried out as I made a swallowing motion. I'd only ever heard him moan or groan or grunt, not the ecstatic cry he made each time I backed off, swirled my tongue, then went deep again until I needed to breathe. I was unsure if he'd want any penetration, but I figured I was safe if I massaged his prostate from his perineum. When I found the spot and carefully pressed, he actually yelled!

**Gibbs**

Fuck! He sucked cock like a goddamn pro! He'd been good before, enthusiastic and intuitive, but what he was doing tonight was _amazing_. Jenny had spent time undercover as a high-end call girl with an oral specialty, but even she hadn't made me feel like this. I'm not noisy in bed. I enjoy listening to my partner rather than being a chorus or competing, but when he added that pressure behind my balls, I let out a fucking roar! Jesus Christ! My vision was getting dark and I was shaking like turbulence in a hurricane. It felt _so damn good_. I didn't want to come yet, but I could barely bring myself to stop him. I gasped and hollered and _oh fuck_ I was about to blow! When everything tightened up and I knew I was an instant from no return, I pushed his head back and grabbed his wrist. I lay there against the back of his little sofa panting and sweating, waiting it out for nearly a minute before I felt like I could move at all without coming.

I opened my eyes and looked down at my angel and found him smirking; the biggest smile I'd ever seen plastered on his face. I started laughing, and he joined me, then I stood up and helped him to his feet. I led him to the bedroom and grabbed another condom. I fucked him senseless in every position I could get our bodies into: bent over his dresser, standing in the doorway, him on top, from behind, laying perpendicular…

What a night!

~~~NCIS~~~

**Gibbs**

I could feel him tense when he woke. The light in the room was just beginning to change; we still had a few of hours before I needed to head out, but I knew that he, like I, was feeling our time together _relentlessly _ticking away. He tilted his head up and didn't seem surprised that I was awake. He took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh, then leaned up and offered himself for a kiss. No way I was refusing that.

We took our time. I knew that if I could get one more climax tonight I'd be doing great, and I ruefully figured he might have a couple left in him, even after he'd come three times earlier. I kissed him sensuously, swirling my tongue in his mouth, sucking his into mine, tracing his lips with my tongue, even nibbling carefully on that pouty bottom one. I let my fingers play over his warm skin, trying to soak him up. I was going to hold these memories as some of the most wonderful in my life. Certainly the best experience I'd ever had with a man.

When I slid into him again, our eyes locked and I moved slowly, exacting every twinge of sensation from both of us. His whole body trembled under me, and his mouth hung slack at he gazed up at me. Beautiful. Just beautiful.

**McGee**

This was really it; our last time. I tried to drink in every nerve-firing in every split second. Him, hard and deep, slipping so slowly in and out, making every part of me feel like he was inside me. His eyes were like an ocean I was adrift upon, also enfolding me. He was in me, and around me; he was everything. I arched my neck, needing his lips, wanting more…_more_. He leaned down and softly set his mouth on mine, and I breathed in as he exhaled, taking even my _air_ from him. We had our eyes open, and I shuddered deeply when he sucked that same breath back out of me into him. Sharing our essential existence, I lost track of every other part of the world around me; there was just me and Jethro, entwined and unified.

**Gibbs**

He cracked me open and pulled my soul into him, replacing it with his own. There was no Tim and Jethro, just _us_, one creature, and I shuddered with the experience. His innocence and inherent goodness washed away decades of sin and pain. If we could just stay like this, I could be reborn into another man; undeserved, I could have another chance at life and love and happiness…

Spots danced across my vision, and I broke our shared breath and sucked in fresh air. The walls between us as individuals slammed back into place as I gasped, and I started moving again, harder, back into the physical experience with him, away from the dangerous spiritual freakiness and into visceral pleasure once more.

It was just sex.

Just sex.

Just sex.

**McGee**

What had happened? We were one being, then he was fucking me again, his eyes hooded, his mouth demanding, tongue ravishing. My body betrayed me, still wracked with ecstasy, and after a time, I nearly forgot that moment we'd had, the opportunity that had risen before us for something pure and perfect but that had vanished in an instant like a leaf in a strong wind.

Jethro, long and rigid inside me, his hand again wrapping around my cock to draw every iota of rapture from my body. Our movements rose to a frenzy, and I arched and writhed mindlessly.

When I came it was everything, all we'd shared, flashing through my mind in those moments, images flickering to settle on a memory of his face lit with a half-smile, eyes sparkling… Then my awareness faded to black.

**Gibbs**

It could have been one of the best orgasms ever, but it ended up being one of the worst. I made sure he flew like Icarus, but I only felt the most bitter little shudder as I filled the condom. I felt the urge to cry, to jump up and smash the furniture, to scream in rage at how I'd had a chance at bliss and turned away. But I just grit my teeth and held Tim instead. All I was worth was what I'd given him. I wasn't worthy of what he'd offered. I'd take care of him as best I could from now on, but he wasn't mine and never would be.

I resolutely crammed this memory into a box and pad-locked it, dumping it into the deepest, blackest hole in my soul. It had plenty of company down there.

Deliberately shifting my attention, I looked at the clock. I needed to get going soon, so I gently kissed Tim back to awareness, giving him my best morning-after smile. A world of hurt rippled across his eyes, then he smiled back and nodded to me.

**McGee**

We didn't talk much as we got cleaned up. There wasn't much to say; or rather, there was too much. But we'd agreed on one night, and the morning had come. We showered separately, and I tended to my tattoo by myself. I felt drained to numbness as I went through the motions of getting dressed, shaving, brushing my teeth. I kept my thoughts on each particular task, concentrating on the smallest details. When I came out of the bathroom, I went straight to the kitchen and made breakfast for both of us; just scrambled eggs and toast, with more coffee, but he nodded and ate what he was given. He instructed me about what things would be like when I came to Washington and gave him my report, telling me what to say and how to act. I nodded and filed the information in my mind.

As the seconds clicked down, I prepared myself to say any last words I could think of. He grabbed his coat and opened the door.

**Gibbs**

"Jethro, you, uh, you're the most impactful relationship I've ever had. Not-not that I think this is a relationship. I mean, you…" He tried for a smile and the pain in his eyes made me clench my jaw. "Like we've agreed, you're a fantastic lay. I just…I can't really imagine trying to be with a man, um, other than…you. So, uh, the Abby thing. I…I'm glad you're okay with it." I was far, far from okay with him seeing anyone else, even Abby, but I kept my lips sealed tight. "The…the shotgun advice, and, the, uh, tattoo…it's like I'm keeping what you said with me. Forever."

I swallowed hard and pulled him close, hugging him fiercely. _Shit_. This was so much harder than I thought it would be! Something was clawing at my belly like a monster trying to climb out of its place inside me, shredding me but keeping the wounds invisible. I shoved it back down. Like always.

Taking a deep breath of his clean, angel scent, one for the road, I roughly kissed the side of his head and marched out the door with my back locked ramrod straight.

"I'll see you at headquarters," I called over my shoulder.

**McGee**

Like a junkie needing a hit, the shakes started the moment he was out of sight down the hall. It didn't matter that I'd be seeing him in a couple of hours. That man, Agent Gibbs, wasn't the Jethro I knew. He was… I didn't even know him. I closed the door and gathered my things. I'd stop by my office for my report and take it to Washington with me. Abby. I had to focus on Abby. That husky, sexy voice…

It left me cold. I prayed as I drove that she was hot beyond belief, or I wasn't going to be able to pull this off when all I wanted to do was bury myself in the covers at home, wrapped up in the fading smell in my sheets of Jethro and sex and lost opportunities. I was gonna be strong. I was gonna do what he said, and I was gonna gather experiences and I was going to find someone who'd love me and want me and not close off just when things were almost perfect.

Yeah.

**Gibbs**

The moment I walked back into the squad room, DiNozzo started yammering and poking at Kate. I hadn't even sat down when Tim hurried up, looking excited and a little nervous. My heart clenched for a moment with regret, but I firmly set it aside.

"What are you doing here, Special Agent McGee?"

"Well, I brought my final report, sir," he said. He'd agreed to the script, but he sounded like he was saying lines.

"You do not have to 'sir' me, McGee."

"Didn't they teach you to use email at MIT?" Tony snarked.

"You graduated from MIT?" Kate asked, sounding impressed.

"And Johns Hopkins," I added. I probably shouldn't have gotten into it, but I couldn't stand them thinking poorly of McGee. I caught Tim giving Tony a questioning look from the edge of my vision.

"I didn't tell him," DiNozzo protested.

I looked up at Tim, still standing there, looking at me with those soulful eyes and I raised my eyebrows. He was supposed to announce his intentions, but he seemed to be checking me out instead.

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly, prompting him. I almost didn't want him to answer. I wanted him to declare that he was there for me, that he wanted me and wouldn't take no for an answer. But that wasn't what he said. He went back to the script, and I swallowed against the ache in my chest.

"I've, uh, got a lunch date with Abby," he said, smiling, blushing, sounding so proud of himself. Tony laughed incredulously.

"Huh! I've gotta see this; I'll take you to her," DiNozzo scoffed. He clapped his hand on Tim's shoulder, and I wanted to head-slap him into next week. But I locked that down, too, and sadly threw away the key. No more Tim. Just Agent McGee. But I couldn't help listen as they headed for the elevator.

"Thanks," Tim said.

"Thanks, what?" Tony snapped, fishing.

"Tony?"

"_Sir_. I already warned you. Abby's not your type."

"Well, I'd like to find out for myself."

"Listen, kid, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you're not exactly Abby's type."

"I've taken care of that. Remember that urge you were talking about? I went with 'Mom'."

The elevator dinged and Tim-McGee, went inside while DiNozzo stood there gaping.

"I wonder what he said to make Tony speechless?" Kate pondered.

"He told him he got a tat on his ass," I supplied. I could see that perfect, soft ass as he lay on the table getting inked at the shop the night before, and I could also see it as I looked down, my hands on his hips, my dick buried inside him. And then his shy, sweet smile when I'd tended to the fresh art.

A dream. Just a perfect, beautiful dream.

_Time to wake up_.

With a sad smile, I quietly let it go.

~~~NCIS~~~

_A/N I think this experiment was a success! I have posted the next story in this 'verse, titled 'Temptations and Intentions', please check it out!_

_I'm also getting serious about a real sequel to The Red Shoes. Cooking Bacon was fun, but I want to write their continuing relationship with a story of more depth. I haven't gotten the background for Stargate Atlantis posted like I wanted for those of you who'd like to read Unconditional. There's a timeline section of gateworld dot net, and lots of info on the characters and stories there if you want to research or reference without watching. I haven't tried to write that one with people who aren't familiar with the show in mind, but you're welcome to try it. It's not slash, but the romantic male lead is another computer genius._

_Remember, folks, reviews are the very best gift you can give a writer! _

_Thanks for reading._


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